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rougetyrogue
10-22-2012, 12:09 AM
So Cheese gets up and starts playing pokemon and fantasising about being a pokemon,then suddenly out ,of somewhere,Cheese gets sucked into his (enter nintendo console here)and he sees a turtle. Then he discovers that it's no ordinary turtle .......it's a turtwig.Cheese then kills himself because he realizes that he was looking in a mirror. lesson: nobody likes turdtwig p.s.i like PPPPPPPPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEE (zangoose)(zangoose)(zangoose)(zangoose)(zangoose) (zangoose)(zangoose)(zangoose)(zangoose)(zangoose) :cool::p:mad::confused::):(;):D:eek:(dango)(dango) (zangoose)(dewgong)(dewgong)(dewgong)

Ice
10-22-2012, 12:22 AM
plot twist it was actually a tirtouga

Merga
10-22-2012, 12:25 AM
Grammar is off, spacing is horrible, Cheese has no character traits at all, moral of the story is misleading, lack of a decent plot, so many useless emoticons, and the ending is as good as the one in the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie.

1/10

At least you tried.

Gyaradomo
10-22-2012, 12:35 AM
10/10 would read again
mega go away

Glace
10-22-2012, 04:02 AM
Grammar is off, spacing is horrible, Cheese has no character traits at all, moral of the story is misleading, lack of a decent plot, so many useless emoticons, and the ending is as good as the one in the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie.

1/10

At least you tried.

Pretty much. I could barely read the story.

Red
10-22-2012, 04:25 AM
10/10 Would definitely read again and recommend this to others. Please continue writing more of these awesome stories.

HeavenlyFlame
10-22-2012, 04:27 AM
I love you. You did good, and you made me proud son. So proud *tear drop*

Umbrony
10-22-2012, 05:37 AM
100000000/10

better then anythin I can rite

i well reed agin

Flubbs
10-22-2012, 05:46 AM
100000000/10

Best viewed when drunk.

DeMrTeunio
10-22-2012, 08:43 AM
This is the best story I've ever read hands-down. I've got to congratulate you; I've never seen a fanfic with more content and symbolism. You didn't even wait a second to share your philosophical thoughts. Not only do you call your protagonist "cheese", which is already a highly succesful reference to the gluttony in today's western society, you immediately reveal his passion for video games as well. Cheese symbolises the lifestyle diseases in modern day society perfectly and how it is infecting all of our souls. To mention all this in the very first sentence of your story is a master author's touch.
Then, in a drastic development in the story, Cheese somehow ends up being sucked into his video game console. Could this be any more of a succesful description of how electronic entertainment is infiltrating and spoiling our minds? I think not. In our culture, where video game addictions aren't uncommon, stories like this one might be a saving grace. It's a question pointed right at the reader, and the clear motive of this story: "Has our civilisation failed?"
With remarkable consistency in your symbolic ways, you describe the appearance of a turtle. This turtle is obviously meant as an phisicalization of age. The turtle, however, turns out to be a Turtwig. Turtwig, having both animal and plantlike traits, is a spot-on metaphor for nature itself. The way you include something so much bigger than mankind itself into your story deserves ultimate praise. The combination with the turtle is a truly amazing description of the age and beauty of nature.
Cheese finds out that he is actually the Turtwig and commits suicide. All your metaphors before this one were already amazing, but this dwarfs all the others. Cheese, as a symbol of the flawed western human being, is now one with nature. With this, you include nothing less than the origins of mankind. Mankind is tied to nature and always has been. Even in this day and age, where mankind has distanced itself from nature as much as it could, we still rely on nature to give us the resources necessary to survive. Mankind is equal to nature. However, mankind is now destorying the planet. Due to the greenhouse effect, deforestation, pollution, and many other factors, mankind is slowly destroying its origins and, indirectly, itself. The subtle way in which you include this environmentalist message is stunning. Especially the remark at the end, "nobody likes Turtwigs", is a touch of pure genius. While everyone knows about the destruction of our own planet looming in the distance, nobody wants to sacrifice their gluttonous lifestyle habits. Environmentalist groups are ridiculed. You don't just show literary talent with the conclusion to your story, but also your bravery to express your political views and beliefs. Once more, the reader is left to ponder "Have we failed as a civilisation?"
Just when I thought your fantastic story had ended, you include your Post Scriptum and blow me away once more. "Pie", in this situation, symbolises all unhealthy food items in the same way "cheese" did. By saying you like pie, you are actually saying that despite the fact you could write this fabulous story, you are just as imperfect as everybody else in this world and you'll be just as unable to stop the planet's destruction as every other human being. The end is near, the world is doomed, mankind's imperfection has driven us all to the brink of extinction. It's a depressing, yet fitting end of this incredible literary work. This is the most perfect philosophical message I've ever read and it's been an absolute lifechanger. Thank you.

X!!
10-22-2012, 09:12 AM
This is the best story I've ever read hands-down. I've got to congratulate you; I've never seen a fanfic with more content and symbolism. You didn't even wait a second to share your philosophical thoughts. Not only do you call your protagonist "cheese", which is already a highly succesful reference to the gluttony in today's western society, you immediately reveal his passion for video games as well. Cheese symbolises the lifestyle diseases in modern day society perfectly and how it is infecting all of our souls. To mention all this in the very first sentence of your story is a master author's touch.
Then, in a drastic development in the story, Cheese somehow ends up being sucked into his video game console. Could this be any more of a succesful description of how electronic entertainment is infiltrating and spoiling our minds? I think not. In our culture, where video game addictions aren't uncommon, stories like this one might be a saving grace. It's a question pointed right at the reader, and the clear motive of this story: "Has our civilisation failed?"
With remarkable consistency in your symbolic ways, you describe the appearance of a turtle. This turtle is obviously meant as an phisicalization of age. The turtle, however, turns out to be a Turtwig. Turtwig, having both animal and plantlike traits, is a spot-on metaphor for nature itself. The way you include something so much bigger than mankind itself into your story deserves ultimate praise. The combination with the turtle is a truly amazing description of the age and beauty of nature.
Cheese finds out that he is actually the Turtwig and commits suicide. All your metaphors before this one were already amazing, but this dwarfs all the others. Cheese, as a symbol of the flawed western human being, is now one with nature. With this, you include nothing less than the origins of mankind. Mankind is tied to nature and always has been. Even in this day and age, where mankind has distanced itself from nature as much as it could, we still rely on nature to give us the resources necessary to survive. Mankind is equal to nature. However, mankind is now destorying the planet. Due to the greenhouse effect, deforestation, pollution, and many other factors, mankind is slowly destroying its origins and, indirectly, itself. The subtle way in which you include this environmentalist message is stunning. Especially the remark at the end, "nobody likes Turtwigs", is a touch of pure genius. While everyone knows about the destruction of our own planet looming in the distance, nobody wants to sacrifice their gluttonous lifestyle habits. Environmentalist groups are ridiculed. You don't just show literary talent with the conclusion to your story, but also your bravery to express your political views and beliefs. Once more, the reader is left to ponder "Have we failed as a civilisation?"
Just when I thought your fantastic story had ended, you include your Post Scriptum and blow me away once more. "Pie", in this situation, symbolises all unhealthy food items in the same way "cheese" did. By saying you like pie, you are actually saying that despite the fact you could write this fabulous story, you are just as imperfect as everybody else in this world and you'll be just as unable to stop the planet's destruction as every other human being. The end is near, the world is doomed, mankind's imperfection has driven us all to the brink of extinction. It's a depressing, yet fitting end of this incredible literary work. This is the most perfect philosophical message I've ever read and it's been an absolute lifechanger. Thank you.

Tl;dr. Kthxbai.

Also, what Mega said. There are too many errors. 0/10

Champion Cynthia
10-22-2012, 12:22 PM
11/10 You need a Nobel prize. *standing ovation* Great story, great story!

Dabottle
10-22-2012, 03:57 PM
cheese is a girl 0/10.

Tuxy
10-22-2012, 04:02 PM
No obvious sarcasm from me. This is a bad story and everyone knows it.

Also, what LP said.

BreeZaps
10-22-2012, 04:28 PM
That is the greatest story I have ever read.
10/10 will read again.
this changed my life

Minntul
10-22-2012, 06:23 PM
i feel spoiled

reading this masterpiece is free of charge

Cutiepuffle
10-22-2012, 09:40 PM
Cheese and The Turtle 2 is now out. Here it is.

One day cheese got revived by a donut. Then he played Mario. Then he got sucked in. The turtle ate him. He was never heard from again.

P.S. Plot Twist! The turtle was one of the Teenage Munant Ninja Turtles.

pikachumaster
10-22-2012, 09:51 PM
Are you all insane???!!! This is barely a paragraph! Please write more. Ah well. Oh wait, you people were being sarcastic. I'm not trying to be mean so:
6/10 because I laughed. *Laughs*

LovelyOshawott
10-22-2012, 10:59 PM
Best story ever!!! *claps*
Thinks about turtles.. *claps even louder*

Cutiepuffle
10-22-2012, 11:45 PM
This is the best story I've ever read hands-down. I've got to congratulate you; I've never seen a fanfic with more content and symbolism. You didn't even wait a second to share your philosophical thoughts. Not only do you call your protagonist "cheese", which is already a highly succesful reference to the gluttony in today's western society, you immediately reveal his passion for video games as well. Cheese symbolises the lifestyle diseases in modern day society perfectly and how it is infecting all of our souls. To mention all this in the very first sentence of your story is a master author's touch.
Then, in a drastic development in the story, Cheese somehow ends up being sucked into his video game console. Could this be any more of a succesful description of how electronic entertainment is infiltrating and spoiling our minds? I think not. In our culture, where video game addictions aren't uncommon, stories like this one might be a saving grace. It's a question pointed right at the reader, and the clear motive of this story: "Has our civilisation failed?"
With remarkable consistency in your symbolic ways, you describe the appearance of a turtle. This turtle is obviously meant as an phisicalization of age. The turtle, however, turns out to be a Turtwig. Turtwig, having both animal and plantlike traits, is a spot-on metaphor for nature itself. The way you include something so much bigger than mankind itself into your story deserves ultimate praise. The combination with the turtle is a truly amazing description of the age and beauty of nature.
Cheese finds out that he is actually the Turtwig and commits suicide. All your metaphors before this one were already amazing, but this dwarfs all the others. Cheese, as a symbol of the flawed western human being, is now one with nature. With this, you include nothing less than the origins of mankind. Mankind is tied to nature and always has been. Even in this day and age, where mankind has distanced itself from nature as much as it could, we still rely on nature to give us the resources necessary to survive. Mankind is equal to nature. However, mankind is now destorying the planet. Due to the greenhouse effect, deforestation, pollution, and many other factors, mankind is slowly destroying its origins and, indirectly, itself. The subtle way in which you include this environmentalist message is stunning. Especially the remark at the end, "nobody likes Turtwigs", is a touch of pure genius. While everyone knows about the destruction of our own planet looming in the distance, nobody wants to sacrifice their gluttonous lifestyle habits. Environmentalist groups are ridiculed. You don't just show literary talent with the conclusion to your story, but also your bravery to express your political views and beliefs. Once more, the reader is left to ponder "Have we failed as a civilisation?"
Just when I thought your fantastic story had ended, you include your Post Scriptum and blow me away once more. "Pie", in this situation, symbolises all unhealthy food items in the same way "cheese" did. By saying you like pie, you are actually saying that despite the fact you could write this fabulous story, you are just as imperfect as everybody else in this world and you'll be just as unable to stop the planet's destruction as every other human being. The end is near, the world is doomed, mankind's imperfection has driven us all to the brink of extinction. It's a depressing, yet fitting end of this incredible literary work. This is the most perfect philosophical message I've ever read and it's been an absolute lifechanger. Thank you.


Am I the only one who read all of that?

LovelyOshawott
10-23-2012, 12:06 AM
No. No you are not.

Bricktoad
10-23-2012, 12:30 AM
Am I the only one who read all of that?

sadly, yes

honestly?
3/10
Im sorry, but its my opinion

Flubbs
10-23-2012, 04:41 AM
No obvious sarcasm from me. This is a bad story and everyone knows it.

Also, what LP said.


honestly?
3/10
Im sorry, but its my opinion

these reviews are awful you wouldn't know a masterpiece even if you got sucked into your consoles and saw a turtle then realized it was a turtwig then killed yourself because you realized you were looking in a mirror i cant even believe you guys

xBlackthornWolfx
10-23-2012, 11:45 AM
10/10
Beautiful. Just beautiful. Someone get a publisher here already. I'd buy this in a heart beat

rougetyrogue
10-30-2012, 01:59 AM
gonna write a longer story soon workin on it and im gonna put my friends and some other lucky people in it so if u wanna be in it just tell me

EpicCh33se
10-30-2012, 02:14 AM
True story. This happened to me last Friday night.