PDA

View Full Version : My Job As A Newspaper Reporter About... Kingdoms?



dud190
10-29-2012, 12:43 AM
Hello there. I'm dud, as you can see from my username. I'm going to try to make a fanfiction, my first one, so any kind of criticism is accepted!

The setting is in the Ransei Region, home of Pokemon Conquest. One day, the Warlords of Ransei decided there should be a newspaper about what happened in Ransei. So they chose the main character, Grechow. He is a warlord himself, but he is also very good at writing and that's why the Warlords chose him. His pokemon is a Pichu. This is his journal, and most of the time, he puts his articles in the journal along with anything he wants to say in the journal.


Journal Entry Number One
Grechow, December 29, 2012, 7:45 P.M.

Oh my gosh! I can't believe it! MY work is going to be published throughout Ransei! Everyone will be reading it! Now... Let me think back to how I was chosen...
It was 3 months ago. Messengers came around to every kingdom and every non-kingdom asking for warlords to help do something for Ransei. It involved writing and It took place 2 weeks from now in the kingdom of Dragnor. So me, in Pugillis, had to march myself across many kingdoms to get to Dragnor 2 days before the meeting started. Many warlords wanted me in their team, so I had to fight them and even when I was impressed by them, I had to refuse. I was on a mission. Along the way, I had to heal my Pichu and buy supplies at Cragspur before heading again.
When I got there, I found a place to stay and the next day I had fun with Pichu. Then I went to bed again. The next morning, ther day of the meeting, I was told to meet just outside of the Dragnor fortress. So I ate breakfast and went to that location. There were a bunch of tables and chairs and I sat in one. About a couple minutes later, the 17 famous warlords came out of Dargnor's fortress. ALL OF THEM. Hideyoshi, Yoshimoto, Nene, Oichi, Kotaro, and the rest! I was so excited to see them I almost jumped out of my seat! But that would be un-gentleman like, so I opted for clapping for them instead. Eventually they started.
"We have drawn a conclusion that we need a newspaper service for Ransei. We need to let the people know what battles and who has control in this region. So we will decide who gets to do this job." Yoshihiro said.

(Oops, I can't remember the rest of it! I guess I'll make another journal entry when I do remember!)

__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ ______________


So, what'd you think? Any criticism will be accepted, as well as advice and anything I can do to make this better. Thanks you for reading this.

pikachumaster
10-29-2012, 12:45 AM
Woah.
Okay... Hmm... 8/10. Good!

dud190
10-29-2012, 08:49 PM
2nd Journal Entry

Grechow, January 6, 2013 6:27 P.M.


I finally remembered About my journal! And just in time too... Because my first newspaper report is tomorrow. Yes, I have seen some battles already, but I can't really describe them in detail until I do my report. Now, where was I......

Oh yeah! Yoshihiro talked about the newspaper report job.
"so we will have a competition. Whoever wins the competition will be the newspaper reporter." Mitsuhide explained.
"alright now, everybody, the first competition is a speed writing contest. Whoever can write a good short story in 3 minutes will advance to the next round. Half of you will advance, so out of 32 people here, 16 will advance." Motonari also explained. So the competition began. I was the 9th out of 16 to advance.
"alright now, this next round can involve a pokemon of yours, if any. You need to draw a picture in the sand about this statement: 'Cease the day!'" oichi explained. So pichu and I went to the sand box and drew a picture in the sand about us having fun. In the sand we were running around and pichu was using helping hand. Other pokemon were joining us from behind. When we showed Kotaro, a judge, he actually smiled for once and gave us a 9.5/10. So we were the 2nd ones to move on.
"alright. There are 8 of you left and 6 will be eliminated. So no messing up now! You will watch a 2 on 2 pokemon battle together and the top 2 who explain it the best will move on to the final round!" Nene explained. So a practice battle between Yoshimoto and Ginchiyo took place. I watched every move and wrote it down(we were given notebooks.) Ginchiyo was declared the winner, defeating both Yoshimoto's sewaddle and pineco with her shins and emolga. When Motochika was about to announce the 2 finalists, I took pichu with me so he could see also. When my name was called, I shouted, "yeah!" and then pichu evolved into pikachu! He was so happy! And here's the surprising part: the judges thought that it was amazing that a pichu could evolve like that, so they went ahead and gave me the job! They gave the other person a photographer job since the skills that were used were needed in photography.

(now I gotta eat dinner! I have a long day tomorrow!)

__________________________________________________ _______________________________________________


So, what are your thoughts on this entry? I would appreciate negative feedback so I know what to work on. I might also post another entry today.

Zachgoose
10-29-2012, 09:59 PM
I love Pokemon Conquest, so I actually thought the stories were quite entertaining. I'd like to read more. Your writing style is great, but I might suggest capitalizing the names of Pokemon all the time. Also, I'd recommend making the posts longer so people have more to read while waiting for you to come out with the next part.

But overall I enjoyed it. Keep up the good work!

Cutiepuffle
10-29-2012, 10:34 PM
Good start so far. However I'm not a big fan of Pokemon Conquest, so that kinda ruins the story for me.

dud190
10-29-2012, 11:22 PM
3rd Journal Entry

Grechow, January 7, 2013, 3:06 P.M.

I just made my first newspaper report! I wonder what people will think of it. Here it is...


January 7, 2013

Thank you for reading this first week's edition of Ransei Weekly. This week we already have some fighting going on for kingdoms as Kotaro's Army challenges Nene's Army to a battle.
Kotaro's Army: Deino, Pawniard, and Sandile.
Nene's Army: Zubat, Spiritomb, and Ekans.

In this battle, you need to capture all the flags to win. Kotaro's Army all goes the same way and captures the eastern flag with Deino. Meanwhile, Nene's Army captures the northern flag with Spiritomb. Zubat flies over the wall toward the eastern flag. Pawniard goes and attacks Zubat. Deino also attacks Zubat, and he kills the Zubat along with Pawniard. Then the Sandile attacks the Ekans with Mud-Slap, but dosen't kill it. The Ekans hits the Sandile with Poison-Sting, but Sandile counters with Mud-Slap and defeats Ekans. Spiritomb still protected the flag. Then
Deino and Sandile attacked the Spiritomb and defeated the Spiritomb. After the Spiritomb was defeated, the flags were claimed and Kotaro's Army claimed victory. Kotaro's Army also recruited all 3 warriors.

Hideyoshi's Army also attacked Oichi's Army. Oichi's Army was weak, so Hideyoshi only attacked
with Chimchar. However, Oichi's Army won.
Hideyoshi's Army
Chimchar
Oichi's Army
Jigglypuff
Audino


I wonder what the people thought of this Newspaper entry. Well, time to close for today.

__________________________________________________ __________________________

What did you think about this one? Please comment.

Cutiepuffle
10-30-2012, 12:12 AM
This is starting to get better.

dud190
10-31-2012, 10:16 PM
4th Journal Entry

Grechow, January 14, 2013

I'm thinking of giving Pikachu a thunderstone. I wonder if I should. Well, another week, another newspaper report!

December 14

Welcome to Ransei Weekly! Last time Kotaro's Army gained a kingdom. Let's see what we have in store today.
First we have Mitsuhide's Army challenging the kingdom of Dragnor and Nobunaga to a battle.
Mitsuhide's Army
Lapras
Munna
Spheal
Nobunaga's Army
Gabite
Dratini
Axew
In this kingdom, defeat all the enemies to win. Mitsuhide's Army strikes first with an Ice Beam from Lapras to Gabite, knocking it out instantly. But Lapras attacked where a grass node was, and so Lapras also took some damage. The Dratini in NObunaga's Army hits the Spheal with Dragon Rage, knocking it out and the Axew also uses Dragon Rage to knock the Munna out. However, Lapras hits the Axew with Ice Beam, knocking it out. Dratini used Dragon Rage on Lapras, but it missed! So Mitsuhide's Army is victorious, and they recruit only Nobunaga and Gabite.
More attacking! This time Yoshihiro's Army vs Shingen's Army!
Yoshihiro's Army
Timburr
Machop
Shingen's Army
Rhyhorn
Tepig
Sandile
IN this battle, capture all the flags to win. Before any flag capturing starts, they meet between two flags and start attacking! First Timburr uses Low Kick on Sandile, knocking it out. ANd then Machop's Karate Chop gets a critical hit knocking Rhyhorn out! The tepig goes and captures a flag, but a wind gust knocks it down. Machop finishes it off with karat3e chop. Then they take all the flags. Yoshihiro's Army wins, recruiting the warrior with the Sandile, and Shingen(with Ryhorn.)
In other non-attacking news, Kotaro's Army puts three warriors in his army back in Yaksha, so both kingdoms become defendable.

So far, I've been getting good and bad reviews. I just hope people like this one!
__________________________________________________ __________________________________________________ __

What'd you think this time? lease comment.

Cutiepuffle
11-01-2012, 12:23 AM
2 problems.
1. I wanna hear more.
2. Spheal is killed so easily (He's my favorite Pokemon.)

dud190
02-16-2013, 04:12 AM
5th Journal Entry

Grechow, January 21, 4:26 P.M.

Here's another entry.

January 21

Welcome. Last time Mitsuhide beat Nobunaga and Yoshihiro defeated Shingen.
This week, Kotaro's army attacks one again, this time against No's army.

Kotaro's Army
-Deino
-Zubat
-Spiritomb
No's Army
-Misdreavus
-Venipede
-Gastly
-Shieldon


To win, defeat all enemies to win. The 3 pokemon of Kotaro's army advance north, where they meet Shieldon. Deino defeats it with Dragon Rage. Meanwhile, Vastly gets hit with a flame and gets burned. The 2 armies then meet in the middle. Deino attacks Misdreavus with Dragon Rage, but Misdreavus lives. Spiritomb attacks Gastly with Shadow Sneak and defeats it. Subatomic hits Venipede, knocking it out. Misdreavus desperately used Astonish, making Spiritomb flinch, and even though Deino's dragon rage missed, Zubat defeats it with wing attack.

Sadly, no more battles happened this week. Kotaro's army has 3 kingdoms though!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hooray. Haven't posted this in a long time.