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Dinofossil5
08-31-2011, 09:35 PM
Prologue:
The wars of the Fighting were long. The Cario Tribe had fought the Med Clan for many generations, both for control of the other. The war between the two had ravaged the land, and drove out most other species. Hidden villages dotted the forests, with only one large town for each group. Before the wars, boys grew to be men. Now, most die fighting as soon as they evolve, or “mature.” The worst part, is that no progress was ever made. As soon as one group got the advantage, they lost it.
Theses futile wars, however, and been monitored. No one knew it, but a third group was watching, and waiting. A group that knew there would be no victor. This group knew it could not win before the war. Their groups to small, soldiers to weak, and the enemy had the advantage in typing. No, this group secretly started the war, and raised an army during the fighting. Now, the army was strong, and knew the Fighting types weaknesses. Now, it was time to strike. No one would ever doubt the rule, of the Knives.

The_Noob
08-31-2011, 10:32 PM
It's sad to think the illiterate think themselves able to write, isn't it?

Dinofossil5
08-31-2011, 10:44 PM
It's sad to think the illiterate think themselves able to write, isn't it?

Thanks, just what my dwindling self-esteem needed. At least I didn't make 3 crappy ones.

The_Noob
08-31-2011, 10:46 PM
Thanks, just what my dwindling self-esteem needed. At least I didn't make 3 crappy ones.

Sure, mine are crappy, but they're better than yours. Also, don't ever use your self-esteem as an excuse for anything.

Leobreacker
08-31-2011, 10:59 PM
I kind of agree with Noob. Your story makes no sense and it looks incomplete. And Noobs fictions are much better and professional. Not CRAPPY.

The_Noob
08-31-2011, 11:03 PM
The Super Mod is right, Dino needs some serious help with his writing. Here: A practically official guide on how to write fanfiction for the Pokemon Fandom (http://www.dragonflycave.com/writing.aspx).

I follow it, so should you.

Also, you really need to use paragraphs, which I barely need to explain.

Dinofossil5
09-01-2011, 04:20 PM
Has no one read the title of the chapter, "Prologue." I was setting it up for the main story.

The_Noob
09-01-2011, 05:17 PM
Has no one read the title of the chapter, "Prologue." I was setting it up for the main story.

You still need to fix it up, bro.

I'mma show you what I mean:



Punching Shadows

a fanfiction by
Dinofossil5

PROLOUGE

The wars of the Fighting were long.

The Cario Tribe had fought the Med Clan for many generations, both for control of the other. The war between the two had ravaged the land, and drove out most other species.

Hidden villages dotted the forests, with only one large town for each group. Before the wars, boys grew to be men. Now, most die fighting as soon as they evolve, or “mature.”

The worst part, is that no progress was ever made. As soon as one group got the advantage, they lost it.

These futile wars, however, and been monitored.

No one knew it, but a third group was watching, and waiting. A group that knew there would be no victor. This group knew it could not win before the war.

Their groups to small, soldiers to weak, and the enemy had the advantage in typing. No, this group secretly started the war, and raised an army during the fighting.

Now, the army was strong, and knew the Fighting-type's weaknesses.

Now, it was time to strike.

No one would ever doubt the rule, of the Knives.


****

Notice that I used:

1) Spacing between paragraphs (or, what I assumed to be paragraphs, your prolouge was so short that it got spread thin. But, hey, they're supposed to be small.)

2) I fixed your wonky spacing. At first it was like this. Your'e not doing it right if you press the spacebar twice before each sentence. Thank God it wasn't like this .

3) You had a few spelling errors. Those are what is underlined in the text.

In review, you're doing good with this, so far. But your handling of paragraphs and spacing is ****ed up, frankly, and you need to make every chapter at least two pages, but it's admirable if you go bigger than that. Preferrably, use Microsoft Word (I use Works Processor, and usually copy it over to OpenOffice for uploading to FF.Net), and type in the font New Times Roman at size 12.

Also, when in doubt, refer to the guide I posted a few posts back, or look at my fic's formatting.

Everyone begins somewhere (http://bmgf.bulbagarden.net/f244/poketv;-stay-tuned-folks-four-chapter-series-skits-71406/). You see that abomination right there? That was my first fanfiction.

Like you probably did, I rushed right into making it, and after a scathing review (which somehow dissapeared, I'm sure it was there last time I checked), I learned from my mistakes, and kept on trucking. Now, look at everything else I've made.

Oh, and that's the forum I got permabanned from before coming here.

Good luck, kid.