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Askans
06-30-2009, 08:03 AM
Ookay guys.. I never have anything to do from 1-3 AM so I'm going to waste my time here. This is my contribution to TU :D Actually, this never started out as a story.. It started out more as a reflection on Pokemanz. So that's why the beginning's kindof effed.

So I bought Pokemon: Red back in elementary school.. and I started playing it.

As everyone knows, Professor Oak greets me... and asks if i was a boy or a girl. I mean SERIOUSLY? You have to ASK? Either you're a ****** ******* or im really insulted... or both.

Overlooking this question, I continued on and chose my character's name to be Max. Because.. why not? Then he asks me what my rival's (his grandson's) name is. I mean wtf, am I seriously trusting my game of pokemon to this old man who is clearly stricken by Alzheimers and suffers from substantial mental retardation? (By the way, I named my rival NOOBFACE. Fitting right?) The mentally infirmed man then asked me, an elementary-school kid, to fill his device with information on EVERY pokemon. Am I the only one who sees the negligence of the old man sending a little kid to catalogue information on fuckingly dangerous pokemon on a device to which he dedicated his life? and without even considering the likelihood of the little kid using it as target practice?

So anyway... I was choosing my starter pokemon for this oh-so-important quest. I chose Bulbasaur because... why not? My rival chose Charmander. My thoughts? Son of a *****... his monster has a flame on the end of its tail and mines... a dinosaur being eaten by a plant. **** it, I'm choosing the monster with flames. *turn off gameboy*. I then did everything over again, choosing the flaming monstrosity that was Charmander. He chose a blue turtle with an orange shell. wtf. that's pretty cool. Not only that, but its got a fluffy tail. **** man, I dont have time to restart again. So I just went with the flow. Then, with savage aggression, my rival decides to use his new weapon of potentially mass destruction to attempt to wipe out his competition - me and my flaming lizard. Obviously shocked, I readied my wits and prepared to utilize the beast at my side to obliviate NOOBFACE. Charmander used GROWL. No doubt its deafening roar left the opposing team cowering. Next came a fierce exchange of SCRATCH and TACKLE. I won, but only barely... I would have to "deal" with my rival later (be sure that I have.. connections).

So "professor" Oak then tells me to deliver a parcel... all the way in another town... which would require me to walk through tall grass. Which, as everyone knew, contained dangerous animals, pokemen, aliens, weapons, diseases, rapists, gangs, thugs, and, of course, scissors for kids to run with... with only a low-leveled pokeman to protect me. Miraculously, I came out unharmed (cant say the same for Charmander though) and returned to my home, declaring to my mother that in just moments, her firstborn and only child will explore the world and battle the most dangerous of beasts. at age 10. She expressed happiness and told her son of her own desires to see the world, though now that I think about it, she must have been lying under a facade to protect both of them. After all, it was a small village and everyone knew that most of the power was in the hands of Prof. Oak, who owned the only organized facility. Defy his will and his Pokedex dream and things... bad would happen to you.

So little Max ran off, with not even a mother's embrace. When he explored the next town, the young boy eventually ran into Old Man, whose only apparent purpose in life was to teach little boys. because he *cough* enjoyed their presence. He revealed his expertise on pokemen-catching, showing how one is supposed to throw the pokeball when the pokemon still has full HP. Head brimming with newfound knowledge, the boy continued on his journey with his Charmander by his side. No, he did not get to keep the Weedle. Because Old Man was Asian... and hungry.

Thus young boy Max started his adventure... and the WTFness of the world was given momentum. This momentum grows as fate continually gives small pushes of failed reasoning. and broken laws of physics.

PS. I might continue this curious story...

Sephira
06-30-2009, 12:49 PM
lol that is funny.i'd love to see the rest of the story

crobar
06-30-2009, 04:15 PM
yes i agree

GarcianSmith
06-30-2009, 05:13 PM
better then expected.
this might be relevant to my interests.

Hero Kid
06-30-2009, 06:53 PM
Damn... sounds like shades work GJ (Y)

mastaofFAGS
06-30-2009, 07:14 PM
http://i44.tinypic.com/2i9ik38.jpg

Sephira
07-02-2009, 01:28 AM
man,i really wanna see the rest of the story

Askans
07-02-2009, 04:11 AM
o yeah im sorry to inform you guys but im deciding not to do it. after reading it, its not as funny as i thought and tbh i dont have that many ideas. and im a lazy ******. so.. yeah :D

i am cool
07-02-2009, 07:59 AM
LOL this gave me a good laugh...

Too bad you're not going to continue...We need someone like Shade haha.

Dimes
07-02-2009, 06:47 PM
o yeah im sorry to inform you guys but im deciding not to do it. after reading it, its not as funny as i thought and tbh i dont have that many ideas. and im a lazy ******. so.. yeah :D


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