So I started a new game and everything, and I get this message.
I don't feel very welcome to the world of Pokémon.
I was then asked for which genitals I had.
yes i have a ****.
And then I was asked for my name. This professor is CLEARLY being flirty.
TIME TO MAKE FUN OF GENGYGENGAR'S NAME.
After giving all of my personal information to the professor, she introduced me to two other people.
wow what a nerd.
wow what a nerd.
After more talking, I finally get to see the opening cutscene.
HOLY **** I'M BEING ROBBED.
And then I find myself in my bedroom with some other guy...
gay relationship confirmed.
Her period.
Then Bianca comes and I decide to save in case I lose a rival battle. It's perfectly okay to reset here because I don't have Poké Balls yet and the nuzlocke doesn't begin until you get Poké Balls. Once I was ready, I opened the gift box.
thanks 4 the gift drayano-senpai.
OH MY GOD. A GOOD POKÉMON.
meh.
OH GOD, A WALL. I NEED THE EVIOLITE ASAP.
Hopefully, this Porygon will last long enough until it actually becomes useful.
After picking my starter, I battled Bianca.
>Zoey
A Glalie...?! And a cool moveset?!?! Oh god I love randomizers.
I used Hyper Voice on the Glalie twice to kill it. Apparently, it's now an Ice and Rock type in this hack, which I didn't know. Either way, I got lucky Glalie used V-create and lowered its own special defense. Porygon leveled up twice and then it tried to learn Water Gun, which I decided was not as good as my other attacking moves, so I decided to not learn Water Gun.
What everyone tells me all the time.
LOL HIS NAME IS WAYNE.
This one was easy. Funnily enough, it knew Blaze Kick.
"a strange blunder" ;D
So after fighting those two nerds and having my room messed up, I went to check my Wii. It's really important, you know!!
I then went downstairs, did some talking, then received a nice treat.
I learned how to ride a bike before I learned how to run. That makes sense.
I then visited Bianc-- er, Zoey's house.
I dare you to actually say "no" a thousand times.
And then I went to the lab.
Hi there! I haven't been waiting for you!
I was given the option to nickname my Porygon, which I picked "yes" on.
I'm feeling uncreative today.
Then I read through more dialogue.
**** no.
mother ****er.
I wouldn't believe it if she didn't ask me to complete the Pokédex.
god dammit mom.
thanks mom i will *** to this map.
We then went to Route 1. Professor Juniper did the Pokémon catching tutorial then gave us Poké Balls.
*insert asian joke here*
i got my balls. c:
Now that I have my Poké Balls. The nuzlocke challenge officially begins. Time to see what my Route 1 encounter is!
**** YES.
**** NO.
I then got to Accumula Town...without a second Pokémon. ;~; I went inside the Pokémon Center to heal my Pokémon.
Shopping.
Upon leaving the Pokémon Center, I end up reading more dialogue.
Pokémon will become 'murricans.
Then I meet some sexy asshat and fight him.
And my name is X.
His name isn't randomized. ;~;
I HOPE THAT EEVEE ISN'T... EV TRAINED. *shot*
hi, zach.
this pokémon is irrelevant. i'm only showing this screenshot just for consistency purposes.
After beating N, I make my way to Route 2.
LOOK AT ME MOM I'M CAPABLE OF RUNNING NOW.
And then I take a look at what my first encounter is going to be...
Oh cool, it's a Ralts. Its only move is Poison Tail btw.
I successfully caught it, unlike last time.
I'm feeling really uncreative right now.
AND THEN I DID SOME GRINDING WHICH NOBODY CARES ABOUT.
My team after grinding. I didn't cheat, I swear.
Porygon's moves are still the same. It tried to learn Future Sight at some point, though. Ralts learned Luster Purge, Attract, and Bug Bite.
Anyway, I went through Route 2 and its trainers. They had some interesting Pokémon. The first trainer had a Hoothoot, a Ludicolo, and a Klink. The second trainer had a Fraxure, a Kakuna, a Cacturne, and a Seadra. And the last trainer had a Blitzle, an ARTICUNO, a Breloom, and a Monferno. It was pretty cool to see all these random Pokémon instead of your typical Rattata and Purrloin.
When I got to the end of the Route, I was challenged by ACE TRAINER ZOEY.
no **** u.
no comment.
Okay, this is pretty interesting. I also found it hilarious how this fish can use OVERHEAT.
THIS IS A MIGHTY FOE.
rip.
After beating Bianca, I finally made my way to Striaton City.
This place has some fancy music.
I went to the Trainer School to find the Gym Leader. Instead of the Gym Leader, however, I found ACE TRAINER WAYNE.
no god dammit.
neeeeeeeerrrrd.
oh ****.
I switched out and THKO'd the Tyranitar with Porygon's Grass Pledge. It was funny seeing Tyranitar use Frenzy Plant.
jesus christ if you had a third pokémon it would probably be a charizard.
I THKO'd the Alakazam with Bug Bite.
gg.
Wayne gave me something after the battle.
A useless move! Yay!
I then went to the Dreamyard. The first trainer there had a Garbodor, a Venipede, a Hariyama, and a Mandibuzz. Ralts learned Heal Bell. I got rid of Attract, because I never used that move and it's not that useful anyway. The second trainer had one Pokémon - A Floatzel.
After beating the two trainers in the Dreamyard, I talked to that one person who gives you an elemental monkey based on your starter. Gengy told me that you need at least three Pokémon to fight the Gym Leader, which is the only reason why I went out of my way to get the elemental monkey.
yes give it to me you little *****.
Chimchar is a monkey and it's a Fire type too.
HOLY **** THAT MOVESET THO.
After getting my third Pokémon, I talked to Cilan.
Just some kid playing a video game.
And then I entered the gym...
FREE WATER.
There were two gym trainers. The first one had a Krabby, a Stoutland, and a RESHIRAM. The second one had a Vanillish, a Blastoise, and a MANAPHY. The legendaries gave me some trouble, but luckily, I didn't lose a Pokémon. Pansear learned Acid and Struggle Bug. After healing my Pokémon and buying some Potions, I challenged the Gym Leader.
Time to beat the crap out of this guy.
Team recap.
His name is Kim. Wtf. ALSO, HIS TRAINER CLASS IS ELITE FOUR.
HE HAS AN ARCEUS. FML.
After one turn of hitting myself due to Natu using Swagger, I snapped out of confusion and OHKO'd the Shelgon. Porygon then learned Iron Defense (I got rid of Rest).
Oh good, it's a less threatening Pokémon.
The Arceus attacked me with Psybeam, and I attacked it with Hyper Voice. Then I get Swagger'd by Natu a second time, but I didn't hit myself and I managed to OHKO the Natu.
hi will.
He rotated to Mime Jr. and I OHKO'd it with Hyper Voice. I hit through confusion twice now. I'm a little scared. But hey, I evened out the numbers.
So...he didn't have any Grass type Pokémon on him.
Donphan used Bounce and missed. I then THKO'd the Donphan. After that, Raichu used Blizzard, but got OHKO'd by Porygon's Hyper Voice. Ralts leveled up and learned Twineedle (I got rid of Heal Bell, lol).
IT IS TIME TO DEFEAT GOD HIMSELF!!!
literally the entire battle was me using hyper voice.
Pansear leveled up and tried to learn Gear Grind, but I didn't bother learning it.
I have defeated the Gym Leader! No deaths, too!
look @ my shiny new badge gais!!
Welp, looks like I got unlucky with the random TMs.
After leaving the gym, I met Fennel. She took me to her room.
Are you sure you aren't a prostitute?
Oh cool, a TM with an okay move.
I ended up teaching Porygon and Ralts Air Cutter. I got rid of Electro Ball for Porygon and Twineedle for Ralts. Fennel asked me to do a favor for her, but I'm leaving that to Gengy. This is where I stop my part and pass the save file over to the other side. Good luck, Gengy!