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Thread: The Grand Saga of Dabottle

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    The Grand Saga of Dabottle

    Chapter 1: Straight outta Hell, Straight back in.

    30 years have passed since the death of Dabottle and his friends. The years did not notice the absence of the great gang, but withered without them. The dark mountains of Ireland have formed a volcano, containing the evil Crystal of Chaos inside of it. This journey was far too dangerous for a sane person. Dabottle and his group were known as the ones who went on borderline retarded adventures in their short lives. Only they could traverse the plains of Ireland and save the prince.....Liam Neeson. Liam Neeson held the power to destroy the Crystal of Chaos, but was captured by the harpy known as Sceptile.

    But, again, our heroes are lost to the grave....if not for the last necromancer. Dragonite went into the crypt, where the four retards of ancient lore rested. He raised his Louisville Sluggers staff and chanted the magic words...


    "Raisus from the deadsus! I HAVE THE BASEBALLS!"

    Suddenly, the penguin from before had risen again.

    "I was enjoying being dead and you utterly ****** it up," said Dabottle.

    "Shush, I'm bringing back the others too!"
    "What? NO!"

    Josh, Ice and Roxas rose from the grave as well.

    Ice looked at Josh and asked, "What the **** did you do this time?"

    Josh was confused as he had been dead the entire time....I guess nobody noticed. Roxas checked his smartphone to see where 4chan went in the past few decades.

    Dragonite slapped the phone out of his hand and started to smash the phone with his staff. He looked at Roxas and conked him in the head.

    "Troll sorcery was banned 10 years ago by the ministry of magic. It's worse than the killing curse!"

    "Do you mind casting that on me? I want to go back to my life after death," said Dabottle. Dragonite looked at him with displeasure and conked him on the head as well.

    "Well now I need a new phone, ****."

    Josh had said nothing because he was too busy cleaning himself of pigeon poo.

    "How in the name of **** did pigeons get down here?"

    Dragonite disregarded the question and laid this troubling revelation on them: "Since I brought you back to life for a permanent amount of time, I have to enter one of you into a tournament. If the champion wins, you all get to stay.

    "I volunteer to lose," said Ice. "I want to go back to my crib in Hell with all of my sexy succubi!"

    Dragonite explained the threat of the world.

    Dabottle then said "As long as you kill me after finishing your stupid quest, then I'll do it, but I want more money. I have to fund my League of Legends account."

    Dragonite, with a confused look on his face asked, "wait, they have LoL in Hell?"

    "It's what they make you play to atone for your sins," said Ice.

    Roxas then exclaimed "can we do this tourney already?!"

    Dragonite pointed at the stands surrounding them, as they suddenly teleported out of the crypt. An ambiguously gay announcer named Sanrio picked up a microphone and said, "Ladies and gentlemen! Prepare for the world's most deadly and decisive fighting tournament ever.........MORTAL KOMBAT!!!"

    Dabottle and the others looked at Dragonite and in unison, said, "Nope!"

    Dragonite said, "You must choose someone to represent you in the tournament." Josh was thrown into the ring. Sanrio then introduced him as this: "On this side, we have the world's ugliest troglodyte covered in bird **** from head to toe. He weighs 120 pounds and hugs his mommy every day....JOOOOOOSHH!!!!"

    Josh was insulted. He thought it was so unfair. Little did he know, his competition was what was unfair.

    "And on this side, you know him! The countless times champion of the U.S. fake wrestling title....you know him from the memes and the fake wrestling ring....here's..."

    https://youtube.com/watch?v=58mah_0Y8TU
    Last edited by Roxas; 11-03-2015 at 02:55 AM.
    It takes a Teen Age Riot to get me out of bed right now.

  2. #2
    Tournament ProctorDonatorMarsh UserSoul UserRainbow UserThunder UserCascade UserBoulder UserSS Veteran
    sonriopoby123's Avatar
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    oh dear....................
    Was it all worth throwing away?

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    although, LoL being how you pay for your for sins in Hell DOES make a lot of sense

  4. #4
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    What the ****?

  5. #5
    Tournament VictorTournament ProctorMarsh UserSoul UserRainbow UserThunder UserCascade UserBoulder UserSS Veteran
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    JOHN CENA!!!!!

    Also, how does playing LoL in hell atone for your sins when playing LoL in the first place is a sin???????

  6. #6
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    sa me
    RIP sig. I'll add something when I'm not up at 6:30 am.

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  7. #7
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    I don't understand this post at all, so I'm just going to say that Roxas is an odd fellow.


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