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Thread: The Chronicles of Dabottle (sequel/reboot)

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    The Chronicles of Dabottle (sequel/reboot)

    So before I start definitively writing the actual story, I have decided to provide a blurb for now.

    "The Chronicles of Dabottle"

    50 years after the original adventures of Dabottle and friends, the world has become decrepit and overrun by tyrants and cheeto-men. On one fateful day, the gang is resurrected by the spirit of the late Murray Rothbard with the help of the druid and necromancer named Sylveon, who oddly can only speak one sentence over and over again.

    The gang must set back on the trail to stop the evil Bill Gates and Mark Zuckerberg from taking over the world, while experiencing encounters stranger than ever before. For example, running into a crowd of blood-thirsty feminists, 4Chan shitposters, Alex Jones, and even an odd erotic encounter with Pepe the frog.

    What will happen? Will they succeed? Will they all die at the end like last time? Only time will tell in the next installment of "The Chronicles of Dabottle."
    Last edited by Roxas; 02-20-2017 at 05:37 PM.
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    http://vocaroo.com/i/s1ffbP6Q60Kv

    Naughty language. Idk why I said "maximumized" don't shoot me.
    It takes a Teen Age Riot to get me out of bed right now.

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    So, this is Roxas, or otherwise known as "the amazing author of The Chronicles of Dabottle". So, I have reposted a blurb onto Pokecheats, and in the blurb for the sequel/reboot of The Chronicles of Dabottle, I have described a couple of things that may seem vague to those who may not know the story, or who don't remember. Well, basically, in the first iteration of the Chronicles of Dabottle, I wrote a lot of random ****... like, it was so incoherent, it was so unreadable, like the grammar was horrible... I'm not saying my grammar is perfect, but it's a lot better now. However, I wanted to take it to the next level. Uh... last time we were with Dabottle and friends, they kill each other, because it was a random story; it had no point to it, and I ran out of ideas for it for a little while, and I just killed everybody off back in 2015 when we were about to move to the new forums. Now, I would like to say that my new plan for the characters is to have them... *sigh* you know, just, set a goal for themselves, and you know, do some things that are epic but wacky at the same time. So those who are wondering how Bill Gates is still alive 50 years after the original events is because, well, he's one of the richest men in the world, and uh, he's also a globalist with, heh, you know, possibly with special interest who knows, I mean I could sit here spouting conspiracy theories all day, but... he probably has access to some of the most amazing healthcare and medications, who knows? So, it was just genius of me to make him like the globalist overlord of this story. And basically, Mark Zuckerberg is his right-hand-man, because Facebook is such a good tool for uniting the world! Take it over, specifically! So.. I'm pretty sure a lot of you were questioning this spirit that I've introduced, Murray Rothbard, Murray Newton Rothbard.
    alright i don't care about murray rothbard
    And I wanted to inquirate(?) him in this story, because this place is overrun by tyrants, (I didn't pick up the next line) 1984, and I want them to have a driving force that inspires them to actually care about saving the world, because they probably don't.
    i gave up at sylveon
    good night
    Last edited by Bricktoad; 02-21-2017 at 04:20 AM.
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    any and all mistakes are intentional



    Introduction: 1984

    50 years after the world's most favorite "heroes" died, the world has turned into ****. A second socialist revolution broke out, mostly because the masses had finally become fully indoctrinated by their economically illiterate college professors. They had been convinced that even simple functions, such as econometrics, were racist, sexist, homophobic, and whatever ******* buzzword millennials are using. The economy gods were notified of this, displeased in humanity's newly poor reallocation of resources, fearing the next biggest shortage, which happened. The world government, run by the incredibly still living Bill Gates, had a monopoly on the world's resources.

    Now for those who are economically illiterate (which is most of you), monopolies tend to under-supply, and make resources vastly cheap, so cheap that it was nearly impossible to increase the prices to combat the ever growing demand that outpaced the supply.

    This wasn't the first monopoly Bill Gates had appropriated. I mean, it was kind of expected; the dude is rich as ****. Do you go to Best Buy and see an abundance of Macs compared to PCs? Of course not! Steve Jobs weeps.

    Anyway, Bill's new, forceful monopoly had allowed all of the resources (and money, especially) to go through him before all of the other people. Why? Because **** those people. What, were you expecting central planning to be peachy keen? Get the **** out of here!
    The economy gods noticed this grave dilemma, as they wept upon the sight of millions of people (yes, the population decreased) acquiescing to the tyranny before them. The few (and we're talking very few, like maybe three people) that knew exactly what was going on, spoke to the gods to seek help, and maybe even go on to save the people, considering they knew the old art of economics.

    "**** them," said the gods.

    Hold on. You might be asking why they weren't considered. It's actually kind of a simple explanation:

    Spoiler!


    The gods had no options left. Even the three people on earth that had a semblance of economics were idiots. It was only a matter of time before the evil Bill Gates, and his partner, Mark Zuckerberg, depleted the world's resources. They were forced to break the laws of nature, and interfere with the universe. They called upon the world's only necromancer, Sylveon, to resurrect the original heroes from their slumber, hoping to cure the world of the labor theory of value, and overall discredit Noam Chomsky, because HE'S AN IDIOT!

    Sylveon wandered to the grave site of the original heroes, and began the resurrection process...
    Last edited by Roxas; 03-15-2017 at 03:41 AM.
    It takes a Teen Age Riot to get me out of bed right now.

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    Chapter 1: The Road to Serfdom


    "Ssssssssmmmmmooooooooo," muttered Sylveon, as he waved his arms, "Sssssmmmooooooooooo..."
    Suddenly, in a violent flash of light, Sylveon yelled, "SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY!"
    Crash! As the lighting struck the ground, fire surrounded the necromancer, the grave site, and the hills. Epileptic lights cycled through their various colors, before smoke arose from the tombstones that carried the corpses of heroes. Minutes later, a hand jutted out from the grave. Out crawled a moderately handsome Irish fellow that looked as if he had been wasted forever. And then, out crawled another reanimated corpse: one of ambiguous nationality, but was probably from a glacier. Suddenly, another hand shot up out of the ground! This time, the being was so horrendous looking, that Sylveon could not tell if the process went wrong. That corpse was named "Josh". And then, the final corpse reanimated, slightly younger than the others: it was Roxas. The Irish fellow sobered up, realizing what had just happened.

    "W...wait. This isn't Satan's pub. Where the **** are we," asked Dabottle. The odd necromancer in front of him looked to him, eyeing Dabottle, head to toe.

    "Smoke weed everyday!"

    Dabottle was profoundly confused. Had god resurrected him to hit a blunt with this libertine loser?
    Suddenly, Ice climbed onto his feet, and threw a rock at Josh (because **** Josh, no one cares about that kid. He will be the *** of the jokes from now on).

    Suddenly, a ghostly whisper from the great beyond pierced the ears of the heroes,"Excellent..."

    Out of nowhere, a manifestation appeared. The ghostly figure depicted a stout Jewish man, with a suit, bow tie, and glasses on.

    "Welcome," he uttered in a nasally voice. "I see that you four are the saviors delivered to this world by the economy gods. I must say, Sylveon and I humbly accept your presence in this statist world."

    "SMOKE WEED EVERYDAY," protested Sylveon.

    "Is that all he can say," inquired Dabottle.

    "Unfortunately, yes. If you're wondering why that is, it's because he supported Austin Petersen for president," explained the apparition.

    Dabottle seemed confused, as he had no inkling of who Austin Petersen was, nor did he care. Dabottle sat idly by, as Josh (the stupid idiot of the story) took the initiative.

    "Who are you," Josh (the stupid kid) asked the ghost.

    The ghost responded, "Murray Newton Rothbard. I, and Sylveon, have resurrected you four through the power of the free market."

    "That....doesn't even make any ****ing sense," proclaimed Dabottle.

    "It means I am the invisible hand. You know, the one Adam Smith spoke of in Wealth of Nations. In fact, he's with us right now!"

    "How the **** is that possible," exclaimed the inquiring Ice.

    Sylveon reached into the backside of his robe, and pulled out the chained severed, but alive, head of Adam Smith.

    "Hello, lads," Adam said in a Scottish accent.

    "WHAT THE ****," they all shouted.

    Murray noticed the dilemma, and responded, "We resurrected his head for guidance. The rest of the body was worm food. He will be pivotal in explaining the power of the free market to you four gentlemen on your quest. However, he can't tell you about why diamonds cost more than water, I might add."

    "Quest...what 'quest'," inquired Roxas.

    "The quest to free the market from the hands of the socialist dictator, Bill Gates."

    This confused Dabottle. He asked, "so, we're dead, but Bill Gates is alive?"

    "Correct," added Murray. "Bill took over the world after the failed Trump regime of 2017. He had an epiphany, and started a socialist revolution to take advantage of the masses and their feelings. We all saw it coming, even in the Seventies when the Libertarian Party was just budding as a youthful movement."

    "So what do you want us to do," asked the Irish citizen.

    "The gods require you to travel to Redmond, Washington, and to confront Gates. However, we are in Dublin, so it will take us a long time to get there. But we do have a portal in Galway that will take us to D.C. From there, you will travel the Road to Serfdom to reach Bill's corporate offices, and free the market once and for all!"

    "And how do we handle Gates? What will become of him," questioned Dabottle.

    "Physical removal, so to speak," uttered Adam.
    Last edited by Roxas; 03-15-2017 at 04:10 AM.
    It takes a Teen Age Riot to get me out of bed right now.

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    "He's there and he's helpful."
    I beg to differ.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sylveon View Post
    "He's there and he's helpful."
    I beg to differ.
    you literally resurrect 4 heroes from death and offer them a blunt with every sentence. How tf is that not helpful????
    It takes a Teen Age Riot to get me out of bed right now.

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    To be fair I wrote that after hearing your voiced recording but before I actually read the story.

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    http://vocaroo.com/i/s1qgbjwNZ3Be (Intro)

    Is this meme now? (I also hate the sound of my voice, forgive me)

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