Here's the bonus chapter I promised. And since it was a bonus chapter, I though I'd change the story a little. This chapter takes place in an alternate reality where Marinna is a scary figure that Joseph fears, and where there is nothing about Pokemon. This, is actually the first few chapters of the original story, compressed into two pages in Word. And no, I don't try to give quality in my descriptions because there is no point when everyone is looking out for laughs.
Bonus Chapter #1
Joseph opened his eyes. The place was unfamiliar. All he remembered was taking a dump and-
Oh crap. He yelled as he realized that he was butt-naked. So much for being the hero of the story.
His eyes scanned the area and he found his sister lying on the ground. The area was grassy. Flowers bloomed all around, and it looked like they were at the top of the hill.
This looks like a scene from a romance anime. He walked towards his unmoving sister, and gasped out loud when he saw the thing in her hand.
It was the, wait no, his 3DS. The one that he had forbidden her to even look at it. Let alone touch it. She was unworthy to even breath the air it contacted. GIVE IT BACK! Joseph roared at Marinna.
Marinna took one look at Joseph and burst out laughing. That thing, it sooooo small!
SHUT UP!!! Joseph yelled, face red, whether from fury or embarrassment, no one knew.
Marinnas face hardened. Take one step forward and Ill relocate your testicles.
Ouch. Joseph flinched. He wasnt about to let his testicles get relocated anywhere. He liked it where it belonged too. Hed always imagined elephants as animals that had their genitals growing in the wrong place. Wheres your pants? Marinna asked. Where are we anyway?
I was taking a dump when I found myself here! Joseph retorted. Still eyeing his 3DS, he said, Lets go and find someone.
He blindly took a step forward and tripped over-
A pork bun? Marinna gasped.
Its a chicken bun, noob.
Its pork!
Chicken!
Fine! Lets eat it to find out. Marinna told Joseph.
They were edging slowly towards the bun when it spoke. Me not a bun. Joseph and Marinna took one look at the talking bun, and resumed their argument.
Its a talking pork bun.
Its a talking chicken bun!
Me am not a talking bun! The uhh not-talkingbun said. Me called you here to save us. You in China now.
It was a while before the bunhead realized that Joseph and Marinna were not listening, but rather arguing on who gets to eat the talking bun.
Hey, dont you want to know why you were brought here? The bun said, fingering its bald head. Me need to teach you Kong Fu.
That got Marinnas attention. Kong Fu? Sign me up!
Joseph shrugged. Whatever.
The bun seemed to be thinking. You beginner. Me teach you something simple. Uh Me teach you Frog Fu. He seemed very satisfied with himself.
Josephs jaw dropped. Frog Fu?
Theres also Owl Fu, Duck Fu, Mushroom Fu, Care Fu, Beauty Fu, King-Kong Fu, Toe-Fu, Tank Fu, Mind Fu, Forget Fu, Mercy Fu, DucksGoMooFu-
Ahhh okay enough! Marinna silenced the Bun. Ill take Frog Fu. Whatever it is. Whats your name, by the way?
Me name? Its Blueberry.
Joseph started swearing and talking about insanity and how Fu of Crap Blueberry was, but Marinna cut him off with a glare that clearly said, Cut the crap or Ill cut your balls off. Joseph shut up.
So heres how to do Frog Fu. Blueberry said. He stuck his leg out, lost balance, and fell over. Staggering up, he told the siblings, Now you try.
We uh fall down? Joseph asked Blueberry, scratching his head, and trying to find the logic in illogic.
Lets try. Marinna said, and she kicked Blueberry so hard, she defied the laws of physics and sent him into next week instead of a few meters.
Next Week
It was somewhere late at night, when Blueberry staggered back, supporting himself with a walking stick. Good. You mastered Frog Fu (WHAT? - Joseph). So now me teach you Toad Fu. Without delay, Blueberry stuck out his leg, and fell over again.
Uh Joseph said, clearly at loss for words.
Isnt that the same as Frog Fu? Marinna voiced the question for Joseph.
No. Blueberry said. Frog Fu in day. Toad Fu at night.
Joseph face palmed as Marinna kicked Blueberry in a rage. You kept us waiting one week for this?
Uhh You were the one who kicked Blueberry across time and space.
Marinna didnt reply, so Joseph took it as a go-ahead to kick Blueberry as well. That felt good. Joseph remarked.
Blueberry amazingly got up again, and after coughing something that looked like blood, he pointed to the forest and said, Me need to bring you to temple.
After a long trek, which consisted of Angry Birds, very misshapen Pigs with hard hats, and huge sling shots that obviously did not belong in the forest or in China, they found themselves in front of a huge gold plated temple. Welcome to our humble temple. Blueberry told them.
Glancing around, Joseph took in the gold plated walls. Humble?
Before he died, my master told us that one day a hero will arrive in China who has the power to save us.
From what? Joseph asked.
Master. Blueberry suddenly said, bowing deeply. A bunheaded freak was standing in front of the front door. He was apparently Blueberry's master.
Wait, so Blueberry really meant before he died!? Marinna exclaimed.
Still alive and kicking uh? Joseph remarked.
The master, was, in layman terms, another bunheaded freak, looking exactly like Blueberry in every aspect.
"Come." The master told them. "Its time for our Toe-Fu (Tofu) eating competition."
"Crap." Joseph said. The name itself told Joseph that he was in for a bunch of crap.
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To be continued... (After 10 more votes)
*Argh. I'm running out of funny stuff.